Pat, you've been wanting to do this for, I'm pretty sure, like four years. Yeah, I mean, once I started following all of the meme liquor industry accounts online that would post things that I was like, wow, that's disgusting, we should totally try that. He's literally been barking up this tree for quite a while. Disgusting things trend all the time, so we're gonna try a few of them today. We're a little late on some. For example, we're finally getting around to the Hennessey and Taylor Port. That was like two years ago. I thought it was tea and tea. I thought it was tequila and Taylor. Oh, we just added another cocktail to the mix as well. Oh, great. Sorry, guys. Tea and tea. That might be the only one I've ever tried. Yeah, we actually tried that one. Hey, spoil over it. It was gross. Yeah, it was gross. Shocking. So yeah, so we're tasting through some meme cocktails, I guess. Meme cocktails. These are real and you can find bars that will sell them to you and bartenders who will gleefully make them and ironically drink them. These are also drinks that you can find on TikTok, on Instagram. He originally wanted to call this TikTok Tales. What are we calling it? Drink Talk? Drink Talk. Drink Talk. You're listening to Barrel to Bottle, The Binny's Podcast, and we're back with a fun one, cause I'm here, I'm Greg. I do communications at Binny's, make Jim chuckle sometimes. He's so jocular. He'd be here all the week. I'm Pat, apparently it's always my fault. I'm Chris, I always blame Pat. I'm Lexi, the Gen Z in the room. You are not, you are a millennial. I'm not. Oh, seriously? I'm actually technically a zillennial. She is not, I'm a millennial. Well, I'm a millennial too, we're the oldest millennial. And then there's this other people that get lumped into us that I can't relate to at all. I hate all you guys. Noted. All right, also in the room noted millennial. I hate my generation. You are the epitome of your generation, Roger. Boy, I am, this is, hey buddy, I didn't realize what I was getting into here, but let's go. Hey, this is just a continuation of a fun, long weekend for me. I don't understand what's happening in social media anymore, and I'm a communications professional. I feel completely out of touch. I think professional's a bit of a stretch. Good point. But we do pay you for something there, and that's why you employ Lexi. So Lexi, what's trending these days? What are we talking about? Oh man, by the time this episode comes out, whatever I say will not be trending, that's the way it is. Something really big right now is espresso martinis. They have been for a while. We're just gonna keep doing that. When did this make a comeback? This was like a year ago, year and a half ago, probably. It got super big, to the point where all the bartender, social media channels are always kind of lamenting people ordering 20 espresso martinis 10 minutes before close, that type of thing. And because you have to shake them in order to get that creme on the top and you float the stupid beans. And it's just become absolutely the go to drink for wealthy young professionals in large cities. Who like to speed ball? I think that also it's replaced in a lot of ways, the vodka Red Bull. Just because energy drinks are kind of evolving and changing. So I think that this is another way. A lot of people are saying, you know, you know the three drink rule, right? One for hydration, one for alcohol, one to caffeinate. What? It's all in one. It's the first time I've heard that rule. Three drink rule. Yeah, we drink with the purpose. Yeah. But that's what you do in the morning. Is it one out of three of those? Well, I guess about the alcohol. That is what I do in the morning, I do that. I think a lot of us do in the morning. Yes, yes, without the alcohol. Yes, not when we're working, of course. I will note that your meandering story did start with you say that this was an extension of your weekend and it is Wednesday. Oh yeah. Well, you know, the week's been a blur. Time to start the weekend. It's almost here. All right, espresso martinis then, and that's where we'll start. We'll start with the espresso martini, specifically an espresso martini cheesy. What? No. Wait a minute. Well, Velveeta? No. Franchise? No, no, this is a high class episode. We're going to be using aged Parmesan. Ooh, the real deal? The real deal. Parmigiano, ricciano. Wait, so as Lexi does all the work for this, is this a thing? Are people putting cheese in there? Yeah, yeah, big piles of grated. But why? Freshly grated Parmesan. You were going to taste and see, my friend. What does that mean? Is there a pun that I'm missing or something? I don't know. Espresso martini cheesy. Yeah. Wow. I don't get it. I don't know why it's a glizzy. Kids these days. I'm looking for some hidden meaning, but they're just like, it's because it had this cheese on there. Hang on. Hang on. Are you doing the etymology of this one? Mm-hmm. I think it's just a Schroeder's cocktail, you know? While getting cocktails for this one, though, I came across a whole article on disgusting stupid birthday shots, which could be a whole nother episode. That's from the 80s. Didn't we do that one about four years ago? Here's the title of this article. Let's maybe draw the line at hot dog martini. This goes back to February 2023, when, shockingly, a Portland bartender created a viral video of himself making an espresso martini top with a fresh grating of Parmesan cheese, garnering 1.3 million views on Instagram. He do it salt bay style, running it down the forearm. But then it got picked up by mainstream media that it was on Food and Wine and New York Post and Independent. But why did he do it in the first place? Because in 2022, a Peruvian bartender won a cocktail competition with an espresso martini with a shave of Parmesan cheese on top. And there was truffle there. And then so then people started making espresso truffle tinies and having like truffle, a grated little zhuzh of truffle and some Parmesan. So a shave is a lot different than like grated. Like are people putting Kraft Parmesan on top of these? And then the old ladies who host the Today Show tried it and they hated it. And now we're gonna disgust you guys with it. It can't be that bad. You're adding salt. It can't be that bad. Salt and fat, both of those things are good. Think about it as analytically as we taste anything else. You know, we have roasty chocolatey character and then we're adding a little salt and fat to it. Why not? We'll give this absolutely disgusting drink a fair shake. Microplaning Parmesan. That is Costco's Parmigiano Reggiano that you get in the big blocks. We go through quite a bit at my house. Roger is so pissed that he's here right now. Look at that. Look at that. Where are you gonna get a cocktail like that, huh? So far we've gotten very little actual content here. So look at this. I love the fluffy crema on top of this. Oh yeah. Now see, that makes all the difference in the world. The crema to support the cheese. It kind of smells like barf though. Yeah, it doesn't smell good. That's not what it's. Maybe if it was in a big martini glass and the nose was wafting away. It smells like cheesy coffee. Yeah. It smells like exactly what it is. Give us the recipe before we start going through this one. So today we've got one ounce of vodka, your favorite vodka, one ounce of Mr. Black, coffee liqueur and one ounce of espresso or highly concentrated cold brew. Which we are using a can of double espresso cold brew that I picked up at the grocery store. This is great stuff. This one time at Pan Am. Pan Am? Yeah. Awesome, guys. This time at Lollapalooza, High Brew was a sponsor. And in the VIP area, you could just grab them. Oh yeah. So I had like five of them. Yep. And then I was like, you know, in a real **** heart, it's gonna stop. All right, hear me out on this. So I just drank my sample and the creme just kept the cheese and I never got the cheese. So I just gave mine a healthy swirl and just mixed everything in. Yeah, the liquid slips out from underneath the creme. Cause it's a well-made espresso martini. Good job, Lexi. It's fine. Is the coffee sweetened or is all the sweetness coming from the Mr. Black? I think it's Mr. Black. Such a good coffee. Oh, I don't like it. Surprisingly, Parmesan cheese is not a shy cheese, but the drink overwhelms it. Yeah, it does. It's got a little sugar, a little milk. I like the fact that it gives it a tiny touch of saltiness, which is fine with coffee. I don't like the fact that I have the residue of what feels like coconut shreds, except. It's not. It's not, yeah, yeah. So I'm picturing. So you can get like a swath of Parmesan, much like if you were doing a swath of lemon or something. Maybe do that, just resting on top. What are you guys talking about? I want a chunk. Yeah. I want a big chunk of Parmesan. I want a spear. When you mix it up and then you have like the chunkage in your mouth, that is very unpleasant. But maybe you bite the cheese and then you drink it like with wine? I think they want you. So if this isn't just a complete silly ruse, the point is to have the aromatics of the cheese and then you drink the drink. I don't think you really want texturally. But I want to eat the cheese. Well, again, if it was just like a curl, then smell it. It's like an olive garnish. Drink it and then bite the. I don't debate that this is how most people are doing it. I'm just saying like. Roger's trying to improve upon this. I'm going to bring a big dish of tiramisu with Parmesan cheese grated all over it. Oh, that sounds great. I mean, that's that's what this. Except then you're eating great. Is that a thing or you have the. No, I'm just making it up. Yeah, that would be a better use of this idea, I think. Right. Did you mention that this was served at the Starbucks Reserve in Chicago? Yeah. Podcast, espresso, vanilla bean syrup, this was the worst thing Starbucks. Well, second worst thing Starbucks ever did. Olive oil infused cold foam and then topped with grated Parmesan cheese. That's a wonderful collection of ingredients that kind of don't go together. Right. So part of the idea of this, right, is that the appeal is that you then go do it and you make a video of yourself trying it. Probably. I mean, does anyone do what we're doing right now and we're not taking a video of ourselves trying it and then showing everyone that we participated in this event? No one in the room loves to be on camera except for me. Definitely not. I'm just saying, it's somewhat ironic. No one in the room that looks good on camera. We have these radios. You guys all look great. Say that again, but sound more like Eeyore this time. Pin the tail on the rod. I like this quite a bit. I'm shocked Greg is only ho-hum on it because it's literally his two favorite things in the world besides- Besides hot sauce. Besides like Hoppy American double IPAs and hot sauce. But this is cheese and espresso. I know. 54% minimum of your diet. Late in the afternoon, it really, it legitimately is. You know, people do pair coffee and cheese. It sounds great, theoretically. I think the smell, I don't like the smell. The smell was a little bit much. I didn't even really mind that. I think it's texturally, I can't handle. I want this again with a bigger chunk of cheese or slice of cheese. We can make that happen. Don't worry. Mm-hmm. This next one, we've got a Pantalone's Pickle Margarita. Pantalone's, I love this. I don't like that they went with the double wide bottle. I didn't know that that was a thing until I saw the bottle for the first time today. I love the upraised embossed logo on the back of the bottle, which is a five-pointed agave plant above a pair of pants. It's pretty great. Yeah. Did you guys try the tequila yet? Aren't they riding a motorcycle without pants? That seems unadvisable. Well, it's a shop-for-shop remake of Clooney's original commercial for his. Sans pantalones. Sans pantalones. Scene pantalones. I like to combine my romance languages. Who's riding motorcycles without pants? McConaughey. Cool people, okay? Cool dudes. That's what... That's what McClooney... I just combined them. That's what Clooney did originally, so they're, like, rocking it? Yeah. When Clooney's launched, him and Randy and whoever, whatever the other guy, they were riding motorcycles through an agave field, so then McConaughey has one of, like, him and his wife wearing no pants riding motorcycles in an agave field. You should see what they wear when he's driving his Lincoln. Yes you should. Yes you should. All right, all right, all right. Now let's talk about how this cocktail's made. Okay, what goes into this one? Well, when this one started, it started when the brand launched, it was a viral video. It was McConaughey and somebody else, I don't know, somebody involved or something. Somebody smarter than me probably knows. His wife? No, no, no. The one I saw was him and some other dude. They're like, oh, this is new Panolone's tequila. We're going to make a pickle margarita. And they take a jar of pickles, pull all the pickles out of it, and then just fill up what's remaining in the jar with tequila. And they shake it up and they just take drinks out of the jar. Wow. That sounds great. Yeah. I'm not going to lie. One of my favorite margaritas that I ever had, I had in a place in Austin, a Mexican restaurant and olive brine was one of the ingredients. And it gave it this wonderful complexity. Hang on. Do we have any tahini in here? Yeah. Oh, my God. I have a travel tahini in my bag. No, no, no. You have those. Yeah. You garnished those. I blacked out, you guys. I was a little puzzled, but I was like, wait, didn't you already do that? I did. I did. OK. So once again, Lexi is doing all of the work. All right. So what's the recipe? I'm not here to work. The recipe here is one ounce of- Classic Pat. Lexi, are you enjoying this? It's a blast, isn't it? He said his specific words were, hey, Lexi, I have this great idea I need your help on. I need you to do it for me. I should have known. The recipe here is one ounce of tequila, one ounce of pickle juice. Oh, so we're equal parts there. Strong in the pickle aroma. Half ounce of agave syrup, three jalapenos and a little bit of a tahini rim. Can we get some lime in here, please? That doesn't call for lime. Yeah, well, it should be a lime margarita, not a pickle margarita. It sure should. I mean, the vinegar takes the place of the lime. There's lime in the tahini. Lick the tahini. For once, I'm actually going to lick the tahini. This is respectably spicy with your pepperoni, not pepperoni, with your jalapeno slices. Did you just have them in the shaker and just let them get crushed up in the shaker? I had an Italian sub for lunch and I've been thinking about it all day. The recipe does not tell you to muddle them. It just says to put them into the shaker. I don't think you need to. Let them get beat up in the shaker. Spicy. It came through. This is... This is awesome. This is slammable. It's not necessarily drinkable. For reference, we are using Claussen pickles here. I just got the regular Claussen dill. I refrained from getting spicy pickles because Roger would have complained. You definitely don't need them. Hear me out. Very garlicky. Yeah. If we were to use a stronger pickle juice that was like a real pungent. That would be your Vlasic. Your cheaper pickles have a more pungent. Yeah. Some more like acidity for sure. I think that this might actually be good. You're telling me you don't think it's actually good. I think this is fantastic. I'm going to pile on here. I think that the sweetness of the agave syrup kind of overwhelms it. I think you just don't need agave syrup, frankly. Yeah. I agree. How about we use Grand Marnier instead of agave syrup? Good point. We're replacing sugar with sugar. I'm replacing booze, sugar with booze. Double the tequila. It only called for one ounce. Double that tequila. I should definitely have two. Instead of having to go buy the agave thing, I would just get the sweet and spicy pickles and use that juice. Sweet and spicy? Oh yeah. What am I missing in the world of pickles? A lot, apparently. Yeah, like bread and butter, but with heat. Yeah, spicy bread and butter. I'll bring some back from Kentucky in a couple weeks. Jim, what's the one pickle that's... Oh, Grillo's. Grillo's Pickles. They make the best pickles. That's pretty good. And it comes in a container that hates you. Yeah, the plastic container. It's like you get PlayStation thumb on every finger just by trying to open the packaging. Yeah, this is getting a bit sweet. Right? It's a little too sweet. A little too sweet. And the sugar hangs down at the bottom of the glass. So, the more you drink it, the sweeter it gets. Overall, not bad though. All right, so next up, we are using one of the beverage alcohol industry's classic mixers. And that's Mountain Dew. We've talked about it before, designed specifically to be mixed with whiskey, if you didn't know. Moonshine. Yeah, to be mixed with moonshine, sure. Which is whiskey. Corn liquor. Corn liquor. So, this is part of a trend of low high balls. What? Of low... Low balls, essentially. Low brow high balls. Low brow high... Is that what you're trying to say? No. Low brawls. Low brawls. Just keep vamping on this, guys. Dirt bag high balls. We're going to call this a Mountain Sews. And give fresh, like Mountain Sews. This is a trend of how to high-low your high balls. So the idea... How much Sews do they want in this business? You have a high-end liquor and a low-end fizz for it. So you'll see things like... Dude, this smells like a swimming pass around the Sews. Yeah, pass around the Sews. Go ahead and have regular shoes first. So the idea here is... Here are some of the options for your high-low high balls. Things like orange Fanta and Mezcal, root beer and absinthe. Oh, that sounds great. I would do that. Grape soda and green chartreuse. No, that's illegal. That's... It's jail. Yeah, that sounds gross. Cherry Coke and Barolo Kinato. Damn. No, a cherry Coke and red wine slushy would be delicious. What about... Yeah, probably. What about red Fago and absinthe? The world's your oyster with a high-low high ball. So everybody knows what Mountain Dew is. What is Sews? Before today, I've literally never seen this bottle. Sews is a French bitter in the Amaro family. It is a Genshin bitter. Has this been around? It was not available in the States for a little while, then it came back and then it was an import issue for like two years, but now it's back. I think it's a 700 ml bottle now. It is absolutely Mountain Dew colored minus a touch of green. It is bile colored and somewhat bile tasting. I don't mind it. You got to like this. I don't mind it at all. Bile luminescent. It's really great in spritzy, fizzy things. It came back thanks to mustachioed hipsters. It's not too sweet. It is exactly the kind of liquor Roger hates. Yeah. Well, it's made with Mountain ingredients. It is. Genshin is a Mountain flower, and that is by a very wide margin the driving factor here of the flavor profile. And all of the Mountain Dew ingredients are Mountain, natural Mountain ingredients. Of course. More like Mountain don't, am I right? Mountain Dews and don'ts with Lexi. I used to have a bar regular, and every time I saw her, I would get excited because she would either drink the most expensive wine that we had or a Sous and soda, which is psychotic. Why don't you open up another can maybe and add a little more. So I mean, what did you do? Like one ounce of Sous or a half ounce? One. Yeah. So we're doing one ounce of Sous. So realistically, you probably want three ounces of Mountain Dew, maybe four for a true high ball. It's not going to be a one to one. Let's Mountain Dew a man, please. No, no, no. You'd get the authentic cocktail, my friend. These really bioluminescent, as you said, it's got a real highlighter water thing going on. Right. Chris said bioluminescent. Roger, this cocktail is going to be a real highlight of your day. Can't wait. This is fine. It needs more Seuss. Where's the Seuss? That's what I'm saying. It needs more Seuss. Give me more Seuss, too. Chunderbucket. I do not think it needs more Seuss. Bring me my Chunderbucket. Lexi known hater of Seuss. How sweet I am. And it's too much for me to do. I mean, it's too much of both. Let's call it what it is. With a little more Seuss and the finish gets bittered out a bit. Yeah. And it gets less bubbly. This disappointingly works. I agree. A little more Seuss. Here. I'm about ready to pull your tasting cards. This is so bitter. It's not even that bitter. It's so bitter. It's not that bitter. It's not that bitter. Vile. It's not. It has a- A walnut shell bitterness, but it's at the very finish. Otherwise, it's a faint, softly sweet kind of floral experience with a bitter back end. I do think it works. A front is those things. Then it's a long, IPA-capped syrup you're going to chunder all over the kitchen floor because you drank poison and mom's dialing the control on you. I think our regular listeners know where we each stand on these things, so their barometers probably know exactly where this is based on how we're reacting. Also, there's Mountain Dew. You just can't get around the Mountain Dew, though. No. You really can't. I don't like it, but it does work, two ounces to probably three ounces. It does work. It really does. It does. It balances. Yeah. This is taking me back to middle school sleepovers and playing Sonic the Hedgehog until 3 a.m. Wasn't there supposed to be orange juice in this or is that a different one? No, that's a different one. Oh, okay. That's another Mountain Dew cocktail we're going to make. Sue's is also great. If you do like Sue's or are curious about it, it's also really great in a white Negroni. The classic white Negroni Amaro. I was going to say, sub it in instead of coca-americano or a lily-canae in your Vesper to give it a little more punch, which I've actually been drinking some Vespers lately. Really? I rediscovered the Americano and how much I like it. The Americano is so good. Chris, what do you think of this? You've been pretty quiet. I'm... Chris has nothing nice to say. I can hit it all in. Yes. Is this stuff really in a meme cocktail, or are you just ripping? No, it's not a meme cocktail. This is one of this brand's cocktail suggestions. Wait a minute, why is this coming back? Didn't we already experience this one time and that was enough? Yep, we did. You didn't ask for it, but you're getting it. The last time we talked about it, we pulled up their website and looked at how they suggest to drink it, and one of them sounded pretty messed up, so we're gonna try it. So, Sunshine Punch is back, it's an orange cream liqueur, and they recommend the Rise and Sunshine, which is two parts Sunshine Punch to two parts Cold Brew. What? It is kinda creamy looking, like it is a cream liqueur. Orange cream coffee. Orange and coffee go well together, so we'll see. Yeah, that's pretty classic. Orange and chocolate go well together, unless you're Pat and an idiot. I was talking about this like two days ago with Paul. It was like, remember those oranges that you smash and you can eat the little pieces? And I was like, yeah, I have a friend who doesn't like them. And he's like, what's wrong with them? And then you were like, sons, say it with me. Midnight orange. Midnight orange. Yeah, your son's walking around school saying midnight orange in people's ears and tricking people out. Midnight orange. Classic Barrel to Bottle callback. All right, guys, here's your one to one. Okay, this is cold brew, cold brew, cold brew. Fresh made from sunshine punch. I mean, I'm really looking forward to this compared to what we drank previously. All right, immediate thoughts. This has way too much milk in it for coffee. Can I have some more coffee, please? Yeah, yeah. But you should taste it first. This smells horrible. Because the recipe does call for one to one, so you should at least see what it's about. Yeah, as off the label, here's how they suggest it. But again, we live in a world where every can of coffee in a gas station or grocery store has mostly milk. Clearly, you've never been in a Dunkin line and seen the abominations that they're cranking out there. Orange inflected mocha is what it tastes like. I'm not getting mocha. No? But I wanna hate this a lot more than I think I do. Yeah, me too. I think that's the problem. I can't get past the stevia sweetness. Well, yeah. It even comes out more because it's like in contrast to the coffee. I wonder if like a splash of it in a double espresso might taste a little bit better. Like higher. A very small amount. Higher, yeah. Or of orange sunrise. What's it called? Sunshine punch. Sunshine punch. I mean, let's be honest. This is for people who like really sweet coffee. I mean, if you drink, you know, a super sweet, if you get the six sugars in your Dunkin, Yep. You probably like this. Yep. How about our next Mountain Dew cocktail? There was a respite. We're gonna have a good old-fashioned rum and dew. Rum and dew. Which is just spiced rum and Mountain Dew, but wait, you add orange juice. Oh. To cover up everything else? Apparently. All right, let's go. We'll try. It is supposed to be an ounce and a half of spiced rum, an ounce and a half of orange juice, and three to four ounces of Mountain Dew to taste. That's a tall drink to taste. To taste. So no Mountain Dew. So we are using Diamond Reserve spiced rum, which is made down in El Dorado. It can be had at a Binny's near you, I believe, for $11.99. It is less sugary and sweet than things like Captain Morgan, but it is pretty intense on the dry cinnamon side of the spice spectrum. Equal parts spiced rum and orange juice. So they call for an ounce and a half of each. This should be all right. I got faith in this. Are you forgetting the three to four ounces of Mountain Dew? We're going to need at least two cans of Mountain Dew. Haven't heard that in a while. Look at this. We got Roger to make one of these cocktails. He's never going to forgive me. Roger's doing the work now. Can we just find him a lime that he can crush? Some kind of fruit that he can manhandle while he does this. What do you garnish on your doing rum and dew? Dehydrated lime. Dehydrated lime with Himalayan mountain salt. You almost had sea salt, didn't you? Himalayan sea salt. Classic. Classic. Wow, Roger. Yeah, we got a strainer. The fancy bronze one was, or copper one was over there. Shout out to listener Nicole and Binny's employee for scoring us some barware goods. So we don't have to just use Roger's fingers. So we don't have to stir with a pencil anymore? Again, that was apocryphal. He's inventing it. It happened. When's the last time you had Mountain Dew before today? Oh, it has been. You know what? I'll tell you the last time I had Mountain Dew was like a decade ago, but I had hard Mountain Dew not that long ago. I bought a 12-pack of the variety pack to check it out. You know what? Here's the thing. Listen, listen. It has zero sugar, zero carbs. It's artificial flavoring, but otherwise, it's healthier than regular Mountain Dew. And it doesn't have caffeine, so you can drink it and then fall asleep. It doesn't have caffeine? No. Oh. Why? Well, I mean, I know why, but why bother them? Yeah, you're right. That's why. Cha-ching. Why bother them? Because they beat Sunny D to the market by like 18 months. Yeah. My high school used to have, I used to let the video game in the robotics club stay after, stay overnight twice a year. So, one year, I was in yearbook and I was like, hey, can I take photos of this? And I did. And there were just so many empty two-leaders of us. And there were being so, just trying not to laugh at them. I know. Dude. I know. I know. And Domino's Pizza Boxes and a guy with a wrist brace because of his carpal tunnel. Oh, yeah. All right. In hand is the rum and dew. Rum and dew. It just tastes like orange juice. It's really good orange juice, man. This fresh ass orange juice is overpowering everything it touches. Jim, did you buy this orange juice? Good call on orange juice. Well, I mean, Chris of course requested freshly squozen. Well, yeah. I don't taste any rum at all. I was going to say, where is all the spice? Where it just like evaporated. I also don't taste that much Mountain Dew, which is kind of nice. If you just want lightly carbonated orange juice, this is the drink for you. Slightly caffeinated, lightly carbonated orange juice. It needs so much more rum. So much more rum. It needs at least two ounces of rum. It kind of turns the orange juice into a bit of a tangerine taste. Yeah, a little tropical, maybe edging toward mango. You know what I think this needs, Pat? I think this needs some soo's. It actually might. Come on and soo's it up. Mm-hmm. Just a little more rum on there. I still think it needs more. Little floater of spiced rum at least makes it taste like a drink. Yeah. And spicy. That's pretty good. It kind of reminds me of your eggnog too. There's a lot of spice in the spiced rum. Yeah, the spiced rum is super heavy on the cinnamon and nutmeg. Which is amazing that it was completely subsumed by the other ingredients. Because as it stands, that spiced rum I use just because I like to promote something other than a couple of the big brands, but I think it's a bit heavy handed on the dry spices. I made this like a highball. There's probably at least a couple ounces of Mountain Dew. I think if you only put a splash of Mountain Dew, either that or I dial the orange juice way back. It depends on what you want to taste. All right, hear me out on this. It kicks a lot of ass with some soos at it. It's really good. It's really good. I mean, you have to like soos. I support you on that. Quick, make a video. That's way better. Way better. Yeah. Burnt cinnamon on the spiced rum kind of stinks. Yeah. Good going, guys. Discovery about this kind of weak rum. This is what I got. It's what I had in the car. Cheap spiced rum. Yeah. It's like $8. It's $12 a fifth. It used to be under $10. Yeah. Do we have any cocktails that don't have Mountain Dew in them? We got a cocktail with a hot dog in it. Dave, you're a hot dog. Why don't we go with the Henny and Port? We'll save that one. You got this one, this one, I'll you. What are you announcing to us? Oh, Henny and Port. You found the smallest Hennessy bottle that's not a 50 mil. Yeah. Hennessy is a great cognac for mixing with things. I think it is designed to be smooth and round, and it is truly the vodka of Cognacs. This is maybe my least favorite episode ever. I know, I'm so regretting that. Yeah. And now it's going to go until 7.45. They're going to make a pink, white, and brown ice cream cocktail. I can't remember the last time I tried Hennessy. I like the image of you pouring a small, tasteful amount of Hennessy out of that hip flask. And it's even smaller in your massive mitt, dude. I usually have that with lunch and a corned beef sandwich. So I got to be honest, I know this was a thing, and I have no idea what the recipe they were combining them with. All right, we're talking about Taylor and Hennessy. Yep. And this was a huge thing during the pandemic. Trended on TikTok. I'm not on TikTok, so all I know is it resulted in explosive demand for TaylorPort across our stores. All stores that sold a bottle or two of TaylorPort a month started selling cases of TaylorPort a week. Do they call this a Tennessee? It was stacked next to some stores. To the point where it was stacked next to the Hennessy at some stores. Stacked next to the Hennessy. Come on. Yeah, that's like Aperol being in the Prosecco display. Yep. So let's mix it up and find the right ratio here. Here, pass me the Hennessy and that Jigger. You're doing this scientifically, huh? Yeah, I have a feeling that's not really in the spirit of the drink, but... Pat is carefully measuring off two measures, three measures of Hennessy. Four measures. Four measures of Hennessy. He needs a golf club. Yes. Now he is delicately pouring one measure of Taylor Port. He continues with the Taylor Port. Is this the white or the red? This is the red. What is Taylor Port for those of us that don't know? New York State Fortified Wine. Here you go. No, is it really New York? Yeah. Yeah. It is. Front and center. Always has been. Cannon-Digway, New York. Cannon-Digway was one of the biggest grocery store wine companies a decade ago or two decades ago. I've been in this stupid business way too long. Back when you used to wear an apron. That's absolutely correct, Chris. I know. Thanks. All right, so this is a 50-50 mix of Taylor and Hennessy. Are you supposed to drink this on the rocks or? Yep. Yeah. Or chilled. Do you want to chill it? Sure. I think I'm just going to sip on this. Do I have to put it on ice? I bet it's way more palatable on ice. Yeah. Passing the ice around. Thank you, Roger. You're doing us all a favor. Roger has never been so angry to be here. Roger and Chris. It's pretty horrifying. Does everyone have a cup of ice? We all have our T and H on ice. Henny and port. Henny and port. We want equal parts Henny and port here. I think there's supposed to be some more port. Yeah. You think more port? Yeah. It's just not good. I didn't get any yet. Oh. I was like, I was wondering how I had two. So it's just equal parts? A little heavier on the port. This tastes like college. I don't have much positive to say about this. College didn't taste like this for me. I was already bartending. Oh, yeah. I skipped this. This was super popular. This tastes like a party I'm trying to get out of. I feel like we're trying to reverse engineer Night Train. That's a mean one. Bing bong, Rod. I did have some mixed up for you, Rod. That was 50-50. I got it. It's awful. It's just the end is bad. The start is bad. It tastes exactly like Night Train. Is it the worst thing you've had today? I would scarf down a whole thing of espresso martinis with chunks of parmesan floating in it before having... Yeah, before having this, yeah. Well, as someone who drank quite a bit of Night Train in college, to the song Night Train... What? Okay, so you're going to have to... Take Roger back to a happy place, apparently. I can't say I know what Night Train is, Roger. It's bum wine, dude. Yeah? What is it? I mean, I assumed it's bum wine. It's the wine that built that... You ever heard of Gallo? Yeah, okay. One of the wines that built Gallo. They don't want to admit it, but... It's cheap, high alcohol, fortified wine. Oh. Yeah. With citrus and fruit in it. Oh, it's like Mad Dog 2020. It's a lot like that, but less flavor. It's the kind of wine you drink out of a brown paperback. Wild Irish Rose. We're in that school. Is it like the Barefoot's in the... No. No. They're fortified. They're high alcohol. It's like 20% elk. We don't sell them here. There's a bottle of MD 2020 on Babba's desk right now. So, if you really want to sip, I'm pretty sure he'll share it with you. I mean, they do call him like Mad Dog Babba. Mad Dog Babba. Yeah, he's frothing up the mouth. Buford. I beer bonged a Mad Dog 2021. What? The whole thing? The whole world. No way. Really? You beer bonged a fifth of Mad Dog? And then he just couldn't stop waggle footing for like three days. That question gets asked around a lot of different things. Yeah. That seems like that should be in the brofee feats of strength next to the chicken wing consumption. You know, it might have been the same year. How many chicken wings again? 100. 100 chicken wings? You didn't know I had 100 chicken wings once? Jesus. How long does it take? That's some cool hand-looped **** right here. 100 chicken wings and he beer bonged a fifth of Mad Dog. I don't know. The chicken wings took me maybe an hour, hour and a half. So we decided to save, that was not the best. We decided to save the best for last. I see Plotchman's. Thank you for not bringing that that foul old Frank's yellow mustard. Yeah, there's French's, I know my mustard, so we have Plotchman's today. Okay, fine. I'd like to point out what's in our mixing carafe right now, which is a clear liquid, a floating sliver of tomato and some mustard. Is this actually a thing? This is a thing. Hot dog martini. It's tomato supposed to be. Because listen, I'm not going to make you a tomato tincture today. It calls for either a tomato sweet remove or tomato bitters or tomato tincture and- I prefer tomato shrub. I just put a tomato slice in there. I feel ripped off. Well, sorry. If you want to make tomato tinctures that's just like- Yeah, to make this or the insane? Slap yourself in the face. That might be dumber than making Borg. Hey, pass those pickles over. I need to refresh my palate from that Borg. Why is gin- It's a respectable martini. That's why it's made with gin. That's why. It says half and half. And vodka. Oh, it's a riff on the Vespa. Greg, get ready to have your life turned inside out. By Vespa, I mean gin and coca-americano and some shakes of orange bitters, which isn't part of the recipe, because you modify it to not have vodka. Because I don't have vodka. Maybe I do. Maybe I should start using vodka. No, you should not. I'm glad you got out that necessary bar spoon to mix up this specific thing. Now, do you serve this up, Lexi, or? Yes. Also, beside you could shake it, but I prefer stirred martini. Well, I mean, it's very unbond-like. I don't think she cares about bond. This hot dog's gonna be the best thing we had in this whole podcast. Can I paint the scene? Picture a classy martini class. The cocktail within is not pure clear. It's a little bit hazy. It's a little bit pearly. You need to smell it, though. That's part of the garnish. Suspended over the cocktail, this martini, is a segment of poppy seed hot dog bun. I'm not smelling it. It smells like that's part of it. You know what it reminds me of? This is harassment. I smelled this and the first thing I imagined was Wrigley Field. I don't, am I weird? Yeah, and in said segment of a poppy seed bun is the tiniest Chicago dog, made with a Vienna beef. A Vienna beef. Cocktail weenie. Yeah, cocktail weenie, yep. Tomato. Tomato. Pickle. No pickle, because we didn't want them falling off. There's pickle juice in the martini. But the hot tail is just a Vienna weef cocktail dog, a Rosen's poppy seed bun, a slice of tomato and some Platchman's mustard and some celery salt. Swinging a mess on the onions and the pickle, but I get where you're coming from. Just imagine it with all that other stuff too. And the drink itself, the cocktail itself is what? What? A Chicago dog tini, a Chicago weenie tini. It's a tini Chicago dog above a Chicago dog tini. Tini Chicago dog weenie? It's a tini weenie over a Chicago tini. It's a Chicago weenie tini garnished with a tini Chicago weenie. That's gonna be the title of our blog post from our esteemed mixologist, Who Shall Not Be Named. I resemble that remark. All right, what's our recipe here? But that mustard. Why does it have so much floaty? Oh, it's the mustard. Yeah. I mean, again, I could have made a shrub. I could have made all of these things, but it just, that- Yeah, it's fine. You did the appropriate amount of effort for this particular job. One ounce of vodka, one ounce of gin, half an ounce of pickle juice, mustard bitters, I eat mustard. At least they proofed down the pickle juice on this one. And then a tomato and some celery salt. You shook the tomato in there. Stirred. Stirred the tomato. Stirred. And that's the beverage. And there's a tiny dog on top of it. And there's a tiny dog on top. Does it taste like Wrigley? It tastes like celery salt and gin. It tastes like celery salt. I mean, it's not that far off in the realm of dirty martinis. I mean, it's like dirty martini meets ludicrous bloody Mary Garnish. Why is it so salty? Now, the funny thing you say about ludicrous bloody Mary Garnish, when I'm at the grocery store, frantically trying to find miniature hot dog buns, I finally find somebody, because it's one of those grocery stores that employs like one person per square mile. And finally, I see somebody in the bread department. And of course, the bread department's like 14 aisles or something. And I describe what I want. And I'm so ashamed to say that this is what we're doing with. And I said that I'm making Bloody Marys and I want little Chicago style hot dogs. It's current. You lied that you said Bloody Marys instead of martini. Some random grocery store clerk. And the grocery store guy walking away was like, what a wuss. At least it wasn't a martini. So, but they didn't have them. No, it was a sweet old lady who thought that idea was very cute, but they don't have anything like that. Oh, it was a sweet old lady who walked away and she was like, what a b***h. And Pat walked away going, I love lying to sweet old ladies. I think this could go somewhere. If the measurements were not this and we made a shrub or a tomato infused vermouth. I think if we got more tomato flavor into something here and we maybe used the Fee Brothers Celery Bitters. Oh yeah, yeah, instead of celery salt. Instead of celery salt. And less vodka and more gin. Cause it could, it's spirited, but it needs more flavor. Yeah, but it is a spirited drink. I bet it's a martini. So I mean. You could also use your time making any other cocktail. This would be a lot better if someone other than me was drinking it. This would be a lot better if it was something else. But the hot dog was okay. So yeah, that's a roundup of some current meme cocktails. This is the biggest bullsh**t episode we've had that wasn't my idea in years. And I kind of resent that. Yeah, the bullsh**t's always your idea. Oh nice, this one's got some of the martini soaked in the bun. Look at him. See, I probably. Bag of donuts, that thing right down. Can we wrap this up? You don't want to stay till seven? Like a Chicago dog in foil. Yeah. Yeah, straight in trash. So let's wrap this one up. This was kind of some bullsh**t, you guys. Hey man, we're connecting with the youth. Uh-huh. Pat clinging desperately to his own semblance of youth, having this idea for a while. Mostly I just wanted to try these absurd drinks. And that's fun. All right, well, it's the middle of summer. Everybody's on vacation anyway. Yeah. Probably don't try most of these. And definitely don't try a Borg. Sue's is delightful. Sue's is delightful if you're into things that remind you of throwing up after drinking a Borg. Pat, you broke my palate, man. I mean, I did, but you just furthered me. An espresso martini with a side of cheese? Delicious. Yeah. An espresso martini with the cheese on top, especially once I got all the chunks in. You still have some parmesan? Can we do it? We still have some parmesan. I want an espresso martini with a chunk. There's a real sharp knife right there. This was entertaining for me and quite a slog for Roger. And Chris, like, I don't think has ever talked less. And Greg was kind of along for the ride. So Chris could have left for a vacation like an hour and a half. And we wouldn't have known. This is so stupid. For what you wish for. You wanted to stay. They knew you wouldn't let me in one. Lexi, thanks for making all these. Thanks for putting in the legwork on this. Yeah. You're our only connection to TikTok, so we need you for things like this. IT blocks it for everyone else. So yeah, it was kind of fun, I guess. And interesting. I have a stomach ache because of the port one. Well, you should have some soos. Yeah, that would help you out. You're absolutely right. I should have some soos. Or some sfumato. We still have a bottle of sfumato over there. And some sfumato. Okay. We'll see you next week with something possibly more useful. Normal. Interesting and thought out. Maybe a snoozy wine episode. I don't know. Maybe Roger Briggs a bunch of lagers. Yeah. Thanks for sticking with us through this one. Do us a favor. Follow us on Instagram. If you're on TikTok, sure that too. We'll see you next week. I'm Pat. I'm Chris. I'm Lexi. I'm Roger. I'm Greg.